Due date= Dec 31st

Sorry I haven't been around. Things have been really crazy. I went for an ultrasound. I'm seven weeks along and due on new years eve. Greeeaaattttttt.... Well, longer post soon!!

Answers

So, the long awaited answer. Yes. I'm pregnant!! I go back on Thursday for an ultrasound and to find out when the baby comes but if i'm right it'll be around November 27. We'll see. Well this is a short post but there's so much to do. Yay for answers!!

Help?

So it's April 19. Let me say that again, NINETEENTH. That's really really super late. Okay, sorry about that. I'm having what I prefer to call a minor breakdown. Maybe it's my fault for not keeping track of my cycles. I never really have even though I know I really should. I know that I had a period sometime after Febuary 17 and before the 28th. That week in there somewhere. I don't remember how long it lasted or if it was a normal cycle. I don't remember thinking it wasn't, so I'm guessing it was. So that leaves all of March and now 19 days of April with no period. Nada, none, not even a little. I'm in the process of getting a doctor and making an appointment for a blood test. But I'm nervous. I know what they're going to ask...
"When was your last cycle?"
"Was it normal?"
"Do you normally skip cycles?"
I DON'T KNOW. I just don't know.
I'm absolutely terrified. I don't want to go get another home test because two of those came back negative. I don't want to think that I am with my whole mind, because I don't want to be disappointed. I don't want Dan to get his hopes up too high, because I don't want him to be disappointed either. I don't want to have to worry about work and what if I can't if I'm pregnant. I don't want to have to worry about how we're going to afford a baby on one income.
I love babies, but I know next to nothing about how I'd raise one. I love the idea of breastfeeding. I love the idea of babywearing. I love the idea of a water birth. I just don't know. I've wanted a baby my whole life and now that it's a possibility I'm scared to death.
Please, anyone who may be reading this, help.
I don't know how, I don't know what I need, I just need help (And I don't ask for it often..).
Amanda

Ok, I give.

So, it's been an eventful few days to say the least.
I took another pregnancy test Saturday night and it was negative. But I still haven't gotten my period. So i'm confused. I don't get it. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment. I need some answers!!
I fell down the stairs at work and got a concussion. I'm much better now, but oww...
I just found out that Maddie Spohr passed away. I didn't know her or her parents but I read their blog http://www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com/ It's down right now, due to traffic I believe, but their story is heartbreaking and they're in my thoughts. They're asking for donations to March of Dimes in leiu of flowers.
Other than that, not much is going on. I've been working alot. I'm working 16 hours today.
Still trying to get the laptop up and going. I'll post more when I can think of something to say.
~M

New Laptop

I got a new laptop!! I still haven't worked everything out (I'm sure I've mentioned my lack of knowledge in the technology department) Well, I'm still working out all the kinks on this, and Dan's watching the first Red Sox game of the season so I guess I'll pretend to understand baseball.
More pics to follow since I do know how to work that.
Much love,
~M

Photos

I guess it's time for some photos..
So here we are (Dan and Me)


Just Dan

Just Me

My Brothers, Brandon and Morgan

My father and I

My tattoo and the man that inspired it

My other family, Joey, Me, and Della

So, that's us.

The trip was good, and we all rested a lot, update on all that later.

~M

7 hours and Confliction

In 7 hours Dad, Sue, and Morgan will be here. They were going to come last night but I had to work and they'd been driving forever so they stopped in Connecticut. I'm super excited to see everyone. I made the baby an early Easter basket. (Because I spoil him...)
In other news, my attitude is looking indefinately better. For a bit there I got a little depressed. I don't know if it was the dark, cold days or missing my family or lack of real conversation, but it seems better now. I went for a walk with J, Dan's dad, and we talked. He really does understand what it's like to be sad and not really know why. Not only is Dan wonderful, his family is as well.
Now I'm a little torn. I want to go back to Alabama and live on a nice big plot of land where everything is green and warm. I want to be close to my family so that I can be close when my grandmother passes, and watch Morgan grow up. I want to be close to my father and mend strained relationships with my mother. But now I'm torn. It's cold here and some days I feel like I don't know a soul. I feel as though this whole big city is cold and impersonal and it's just not right for me or my lifestyle. But is it right to ask Dan to leave his home and live with me? Wouldn't he be giving up as much as I would be? I thought about a comprimise, living somewhere in the middle so it's not so much of a trek to visit either family, but that would just be crazy. We'd both be in a town we didn't know, both be away from our families. Dan says he wants to go with me to Alabama, but I'll just bet if you asked that boy to jump off a building to keep me, he'd say he was happy to. Just a hunch.
All in all, good problems to have. Loving each other so much you both want to sacrifice. Not bad, not bad at all.
~M
PS I plan on peeing on another stick soon, I'll let you know when I do.